Thoughts from the squadron again.

You know, a lot of shit has happened since I posted something substantial. Whatever.

Through my entire life post-depression, I have made a series of judgement calls in order to follow the "correct" path in order to achieve my higher goal of happiness. So far this hasn't lead me too far away from that, despite some minor issues. My original desire to come to Japan seriously conflicts with the later desire to have Sarah forever. Now having been to Japan and realizing it's really not all that it is cracked up to be (it's been a major disapointment for me on the whole) and it also preventing me from being something I want more than anything I've ever wanted in my entire life, I am struck with a fork in which I am not happy with either path, but then I am. At least I had a good friend like Thib to help guide me when the final call had to be made. But thankfully also I know what he would say, and that would be to follow my heart rather than my brain.

Sarah being happy and in Japan are not compatible, that is a given I have assumed despite a strong desire on my part to have her back here. I don't want her to be unhappy. Thus, this really isn't a viable option to me.

Sarah being happy and in Delaware with me works very well, but how is that to be achieved? I don't know exactly but I am going to try my damnedest to do it. The only few times Sarah's voice perked up today is when I mentioned that option. And so that is what I will persue.

I love her with my whole heart, I would do anything for her.